I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose.
He's got a ferret sticking up his nose.
How it got there I can't tell, but now it's there it hurts like hell,
And what is more it radically affects my sense of smell. His sense of smell.

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose.
It pokes its head out every time he blows.
I can tolerate it for a while although it's absolutely vile,
It's not as bad as last week when I had a crocodile. A crocodile.

I can see a bare-bottomed mandril,
Slyly eying his other nostril.
I really don't know what to do, but if it jumps inside there too,
I shall be the proud possessor of a kind of nasal zoo. A nasal zoo.

I've got a ferret sticking up my nose,
And what is worse it constantly explodes.
Ferrets don't explode you say but it happened nine times yesterday,
And I should know 'cause each time I was standing in the way. 'Ding in the way

Tune: The Rose of England
Composer: Bob Leaper
Authors: Graham Chapman & John Cleese

I've lifted the text straight from David Keaveny's home pages