Personal experiences of Cambridge Subud Members
How Fardijah was guided | How Tom found Subud | Ralph's first latihan | Some of Mahrus' experiences
How Fardijah was guided to
find her husband
When I was 21 in Germany, the Subud helpers tested with all the unmarried women
"How should I look for a husband?" I received: "wait for a tremendous in-pouring
of grace, do nothing". So I did. 5 years later I had got tired of being a
spinster piano-teacher in Cambridge, and enrolled for a Dip. Ed. in Liverpool (I
knew there was a Subud group, but this was purely a career move). The course
started in September, and in August I went to the National Congress in
Swanwick.I was sitting in an armchair, talking "musical shop" with Maurice Isaacs of blessed memory, when suddenly I was in Paradise. At the time I had no idea why, but later it turned out that "David Freedman" from Liverpool had walked in, seen me, and said: "I'm going to marry that girl."
Latif, as he later became, and I were married 4 months later and were blissfully happy for 30 years. All the details had been pre-arranged in heaven. When we were introduced, he asked: "Are you married?" and I thought "What a gauche question!" But he later told me, that if I had been, he'd have left immediately in despair. I said: "no, are you?" and the answer was, that his beloved wife had died 4 months previously (later I had experiences, in which she blessed our marriage). Further, we were both musicians, both had Europaean Jewry in our backgrounds, and were both working in the same part of Liverpool!
God really is the best "fixer". I hope this story might encourage anyone who is perhaps feeling as "stuck" as I was then!
Love from Fardijah, 2003
How Tom found Subud
Hi, my name is Tom Sharples and I have been in Subud for nearly 5
years. I joined Subud when I first came to Cambridge to start my University
course. This course was in Environmental Biology as a mature student. I was then
aged 28. I was looking to make some connections with spiritual people since I
had been on a search for spiritual knowledge for several years. I don't know
how my search came about but I had nearly died from Hodgkin's Disease as a
teenager and later had spent 5 years in a caravan as a retreat from society in
order to gain healing. I had studied Shamanism and learned healing and
channelling and had practiced this for other people.So I noticed a flyer for 'Dances of Universal Peace and Chanting' on the University notice board. This seemed to resonate with my search for likeminded people so I went along. This guy Ralph then pointed out that he was part of something called Subud whereby the man who founded it had a strange power that was a receiving from Almighty God. This power made people sing and dance spontaneously and even scream and shout. I was fascinated so I went along to the local Subud group and sat out the application period of three months.
When I was opened I felt that it was a very special honour to be able to make this contact with the Universal Source of All Life. After time I started to feel purified of all sorts of compulsions and traits and the Latihan is still an ongoing healing process for my own inner feeling. This inner feeling had suffered a lot of damage and abuse as a child. The Latihan has got me through some rough patches where I would have given up if I hadn't had the support of the Grace of God. I have now become Regional Treasurer for East Anglia and also a Candidate Helper. All this after 5 years of Spiritual training; amazing! I am very impressed with the work that is being done by Subud in the world.
Nov. 2003
Ralph's first latihan & some interesting experiences
I found my way to the Subud group Cambridge in September 1997. At my first meeting I sensed
a kind of soul connection with some members, and when I heard, that there is a 3
months preparation / probation period, before I could actually join their
spiritual training or experience ("latihan"), it felt even more to be the right
thing and the right time for me (having been on search for the last 15 years).
Half the group members were involved in music, singing and creativity - how
exciting!
My first attendance ("opening") at the latihan was quite overwhelming and left me in tears. I got a glimpse of complete freedom, which was exciting and scary at the same time. I realised that I do not have to practise a certain mantra, or do special postures; I don't have to do anything at all - I am free!
The first months I have been struggeling with letting go of my mind control. I know that some members have been waiting many years for something to happen at all - and I am full with admiration for their perseverence. Gradually I managed to relax and surrender more. Especially the testing was very encouraging and confirming for me, that my mind is not making things up and cheating me.
Here are a few more of my experiences in latihan:
- Once during my first months in Subud I told the group helpers after latihan, that I didn't feel or receive anything. They laughed and replied: "look at your face - it's red all over!"
- One night I noticed that my body began turning faster and faster like a Derwish; my arms were pulled apart wide horizontally by the centrifugal force. The world seemed to turn around me - but I felt completely calm and centered inside. After the latihan I felt really proud and talked with the helpers. They were not the slightest impressed, smiled, and just remarked: "he's done the turning. We've been through this" - as if this was absolutely normal.
- After the Subud congress 2003 we did more awareness testing after Friday latihan. In my 6th
Subud year I got kind of used to allowing movements and sounds to happen. We
tested: "How would it be, if I REALLY let go during latihan?"
To my amazement my body started moving in a way, it never did before - maybe like a divine fool, completely drunk with God's spirit. - In March 2008 I visited Riga and met the 2 male Latvian Subud members. When we did latihan, I was very much surprised how powerful it was: my body did movements it has never done before in my 10 years in Subud! I did have the feeling I was helping them with my presence. God knows, what really happened... I realised, how important it is to do latihan with other people in other groups
Ralph Nimmann (updated 30 Aug '03)
Some of Mahrus' experiences
My soul & inner self has been in training, via Subud (total surrender to the power of God) for 35 years,
I do respect what ever my soul receives.
When I woke up this morning, I was clearly receiving. It only lasted about a minuet or two. I looked at the clock, it was 4.30 am. My understanding of this happening is that quite definitely it was my soul that woke me up with understanding and reason, "Mahrus! You have so much to do today. Now is time to wake up and get up."
I think alright I'll get up, it is so true I have too many things to do, even if as an old man of 80 I'll be falling asleep after meals. And so my day has started as I was guided by my soul.
One's body cries out for many hours of sleep but when one's soul is in charge, one needs much less sleep. Also that is the case when fasting. When one's soul is in charge it is easy to do the Ramadan fast or to stay up all night for a worthy cause.
In my early days, on the one hand, my very active mind would not accept anything without proof but on the other hand, I had really close feelings with my true inner self. As a child, a youth and a man, an inner voice would come sometimes but always with a deep understanding of things no one had taught me.
I was always a very hearty fellow, full of life and artistic passions. But my soul had need of something else and it seemed necessary to have been taught some hard lessons. Like alcohol makes me ill and eating pork gives me dreams of killing.
As I am rather deaf it is easy for me to be called from within by a rat-a-tat-tat when no one is there but it is a spiritual reminder. I very frequently spontaneously give voice to worship. But sometimes I spontaneously give voice with all kinds of accents of people long passed. I feel a kind of love and sympathy for them and let it go.
In the surrender to the power of God one may experience all sorts of lessons in a symbolic form. But once I clearly heard a voice telling me to be bowed down before God. As soon as I did so I was told by another voice to be upstanding before men. And again as soon as I stood up the first voice said, "Be bowed down before God." And again the second voice said, "Be Upstanding before men."
I quickly stood up straight and was quickly bowed down again and again until I burst out with laughter with the Angels."You Angels, you have got me going hard at it for fun." Of cause I always remember that but it seemed several years before the lesson sunk in:
ONE SHOULD BE IN A CONSTANT SPIRITUAL POSITION OF BEING BOWED DOWN BEFORE GOD WHILE ALSO BEING UPSTANDING BEFORE MEN.
With love and caring from Mahrus Stuart, June 2003
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